Never let it be said that golf isn't a hilarious effort when not played well. There is no crying in baseball and no drama in golf. Four men could not have played worse, yet they laughed throughout the entire day! (See video.) Joe "I only play reds" Valdez decided to step back and play a bit longer-style stick from the whites. He repeatedly drove, chipped and—well, the putting wasn't stellar, but he still made significant points. The 6-6-6 format had one serious loser: Raggio! "I blame my teammates," Raggio protested. "The Gland-Men never once showed their expertise when they played with me" (referring to Lyle and Joe). "At least Fred acted like he was really trying." Lyle's game had consistent moments, when he wasn't giggling and showing he had a modicum of pride! On 17, as the video shows, they all fell apart. Lyle gave Joe the 115-yard distance to Joe as 160, and couldn't hold it in long enough for Joe to believe it, even after Raggio entreated Joe to believe it. Shame! Fred quickly pointed out that rule 14.3 states that any person who lies on a par 3 shall be assessed a 2-stroke penalty. But then he quickly addressed the fact that we were all playing like shit, so the rule should not be enforced on this occasion. Everyone nodded in false solemnity, but agreed! No one hit the green! The lie from hell! (Yes, it garnered a few chuckles.)
Waking this side of Nippinawasse, I realize I had dreamed about being trapped in ‘70s, wearing puka shells, boots, and pants so tight people could tell my blood type. I think that’s why I don’t recall much about the ‘80s—the contrast, the relief was so complete and subtle I refer to it as the “beige decade.” People had to take lessons on how to button up their shirts and deny those chain necklaces were ever theirs. It made me cautious and led me to think about trends and fads a bit more. I tried looking in advance back at myself—it doesn’t work; it’s not supposed to. Still, I worry that I’m becoming an involuntary player in something I don’t understand and that, at the end, someone will tap me on the shoulder and tell me it’s all been one long pyramid scheme.