Friday, December 8, 2017

5150 Golf


The Health and Safety Code offers an option to cops and docs, when they come across a mentally challenged individual or if they even suspect it, to “5150” them, which means to place them on a 24-hour hold for a psych evaluation. There are three different evaluations, and the person must meet at least one of the conditions:
1.  Pose a danger to one’s self
2.  Pose a danger to others
3.  Be gravely disabled

When after nine holes Riva’s score was 51 and mine 50, we both had a good laugh at the connotation.

I realized after a moment, it wasn’t funny: my game is a danger to me, and to others, and it is past gravely disabled! Riva notices the frown and shrugs; we’re playing for a beer and the game is very close. Of course, he’s playing for a real beer and I’m playing for the faux beer: O’Doul’s. 
We’re standing on the corner in Winslow Arizona … Okay, stop there, Raggio—refocus. We’re standing on the 15th tee when we see the gal chasing a ground squirrel. I whistle; she stops in her tracks and comes trotting over. She's less antsy than the last time we saw her. All I have is half of a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. I take my last small bite as she rolls her eyes. I toss a piece and she gratefully downs it, another and she’s scraping her front paws in anticipation. I toss the last piece and wave her off; she’s “trained” enough to know when it’s time to let me return to my misery. Halfway down the fairway, I look back and from all angles coyotes are closing in on her: her no-longer-pup pups … They knock her over and she jumps up to attack. They become submissive, only to “attack” again. She’s rolling over, they’re jumping and rolling over—for no reason at all, or maybe for all the reasons there are …

(Riva bought the “beer” but only by a stroke. We never waited; the joint was empty and about 68 degrees. It was, as Riva put it, “A perfect day to spoil it.”)


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