Von’s (Safeway)

Von’s in December: I can hear the echo of coughing three aisles away, someone’s nose blowing—so much sneezing it sounds like a trap-shooting contest. People holding Kleenex up to their noses … I see my reflection in the freezer door: I’m Tony Randall. 

Only happens in Von’s—in Raley’s, I’m once again Clark Gable.